How to Cook a Wife

(Advice to young men by an old man)

Start Cooking Early and Regularly

I was recently looking up a recipe for my annual baking of the “great” Australian Christmas cake when I came across this amusing “recipe” in a 30-year-old edition of the Qantas Flight Hostess Club cookbook.  Yes, once upon a time I was a Flight Hostess, back in the dark ages when it was still a glamorous and much sought-after career.  The recipe gave me a chuckle so I thought I’d share it with you.  All my male readers, please make a note of the excellent advice given!

How to Cook a Wife

• Having caught a wife, light the fire of love and see that a steady heat is kept in the domestic oven.
• Dress her generously and handle her tenderly, for a woman’s feelings are easily bruised.
• Butter her freely with compliments and stuff her with flattery, to which add a handful of chestnuts about her being the most wonderful woman in the world and that you never loved before and you could never love again — and so on.
• Be sure to season with a little time and do not on any account omit a bouquet of sweet herbs.
• Garnish with theater tickets and an occasional restaurant after the play, and serve with a rich sauce of affection.

This dish can be highly recommended as the pièce de résistance of the family menu.

The reason so many men fail in cooking this dish is that they do not regulate the heat sufficiently.  They start with too much fire which they soon neglect and let go out after a short time.

Midlife Health: The Emotional Side of Back Pain

Many years ago I read the ground-breaking book Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection by Dr. John Sarno, which proved to be quite an eye-opener. Dr. Sarno’s work has been taken to the next level in the book Back Sense: A Revolutionary Approach to Halting the Cycle of Chronic Back Pain by a team of Boston area medical professionals. The premise here is that a large percentage of back pain is related to painfully tense back muscles rather than damaged or defective tissues. While there may be physical causes (ranging from accidents and injuries to tumors or infections), the pain cycle is often triggered by emotions such as stress over pain, worries about the future, financial worries, living with a difficult spouse, etc.

Mind-Body Practices for a Healthy Back

• Put it in Writing

— acknowledging your negative emotions can help you dispel them, reducing stress and enhancing immune function.

• Take Note of Your Beliefs

— the mind is extremely literal in creating exactly what words you think about. You experience what you think! An excellent example of this comes from a colleague who spent many years constantly reinforcing the thought that she wanted to marry someone RICH.  She did – his name was RICH!!!! I’ll leave you to guess whether or not he had any money!

So …… constantly repeating phrases like the following can actually contribute to the creation of back problems or pain:

My back is killing me

I can’t stand this

I don’t get any support

I feel backed into a corner

I won’t back down

He/she’s always on my back

I can’t stand it!

• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

— stewing over things you can’t control or that don’t make a difference only add to muscle tension.

• Get Plenty of Rest

— when you skimp on sleep, your ability to handle stressful emotions decreases.  Small problems can send you “over the edge” more quickly, increasing muscle tension.

• Eat Healthy

— comfort foods high in sugars and fats may briefly reduce stress hormones but in the long run, a well-balanced, healthy diet contributes to better brain chemistry, emotional stability and less stress on the body.

When you do need to ease the pain of that aching back, try one of the natural remedies listed in the last newsletter. My two favorites are Arnica cream, a healing and soothing homeopathic remedy for the relief of bruises and sore muscles, and Zyflamend a unique herbal formula by New Chapter, which promotes healthy inflammation response and normal joint function.

© 2010 Evelin Saxinger, N.D., ACH

All material is provided for informational or educational purposes only. Please consult a physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or condition.

Midlife Health: Forgetfulness

Periwinkle

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques – visualization, association – it’s made a big difference for me.”

“That’s great! What was the name of that clinic?”

Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife. “Rose, what was the name of that clinic?”

By the time we get to midlife, or even before, we can all probably relate to the joke.  First you forget your car keys, then you don’t remember whether you paid the phone bill and next you can’t remember your ATM password.  Forgetfulness can be a normal part of aging.

Scientists now tell us that most of us can stay both alert and able as we age, although it may take us longer to remember things. I like to think of it as already having so much information and knowledge in my brain that some of it gets misplaced for a time underneath another pile of good information.  It’s not lost, just buried.

In addition to some of the popular brain training games and memory techniques, there’s a supplement that might be helpful – Vinpocetine.

Vinpocetine is an extract from the leaf of the periwinkle plant.  Studies have shown that it can help circulation in the brain, improve oxygen use and make red blood cells more flexible and less clumped together.  It was developed in the 1960s and is available as a prescription drug in Japan and Europe but as a dietary supplement in the US and Canada.

Interestingly, this brain booster has also been shown to improve eyesight in many cases. That way, you can see more clearly what you’ve forgotten!

As always, check with your practitioner first regarding any possible side effects and interactions with other substances.

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All material is provided for informational or educational purposes only. Consult a physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or condition.

Midlife Transition: Follow Your Passions

Don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do ~ John Wooden

I always find it fascinating to read about defining moments in someone’s life. Take, for example, an article in the Washington Post this week. One of the city’s top lawyers quit a well-known legal firm after 28 years to start up his own company giving speeches to investors and financial firms on how Washington’s laws and regulations affect their investments.

As the expert tax lawyer for the sports industry, not only did he make a substantial income, but he had access to the best sports tickets, attended all-star games, playoffs and Super Bowls and schmoozed with the “Who’s Who” in the field.  He appeared to be living a great life.  What more could he want?

What he wasn’t getting, however, was fulfillment.  He got to a point in his life when, in his words, “my two choices were to sit at my desk and do the same thing for the next 15 years. Or I could go out and do something different.”  He did something different!  Was it a tough choice? Yes, but the overwhelming need to follow that inner spark, that passion, was a driving force to make the change.

Wouldn’t it be great if you had something to get you that motivated and excited?  You can … by finding and following your passion. If you’d like to learn more, go to http://budurl.com/h7zj

In the words of Thoreau, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Make this summer the time you find something new to be passionate about. Let your “can do” take the driver’s seat so that any “can’t do” gets left in the dust!

The Key to Getting Out of the Midlife Career Rut: Eliminate PDD (Passion Deficit Disorder)

What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of a career?  Probably not “passion”.  For most people being passionate about their career is a dream, at least according to a 2005 Harris Interactive Study which found that only 20% of people were passionate about what they were doing.

If you are currently at a crossroads in your life and in a rut, not knowing how to climb out, perhaps it’s time you started discovering what you’re passionate about.  The journey will bring clarity and focus. It will help you find possibilities and directions.  Following your passions is about work becoming a joyful experience, about days becoming more meaningful, about happiness showing up more frequently and about relationships becoming more meaningful.

Your passions will change over time.  What you love to do today will probably not be the same in 20 years.  Perhaps you’re a person who doesn’t find their passion until later in life. Take for example, John James Audubon, one of the greatest wildlife artists. He was an unsuccessful businessman for most of his life. It didn’t matter how many times he changed locations, partners or businesses, he failed miserably.  Not until he understood that he had to change himself did he have a chance of succeeding. So what changes did he make? He followed his passion.  He always loved the outdoors and was a great hunter. In addition he was a good artist and would draw birds as a hobby. His life changed when he started doing what he loved.

To get started on this road to discovery, take some time, sit down and write out your answers to the following questions. Go with your first impulses.

• What do you love to do?
• What kind of environment do you love to be in? Predictable and slow-paced or fast-paced and constantly changing?
• What kind of people do you love to be around?
• If you could swap jobs with two other people, who would they be and why?
• Are you more comfortable in a large or small organization?  One that is formal, conservative, or creative?
• What excites you, turns you on, gets you charged up?
• What are you “a natural” at?  What do people compliment you on?
• What did you like about previous jobs that you would love to do again?
• What do you need from an organization or team to be motivated?
• What opportunities for advancement and development do you need?
• How important is long-term job security?
• Do you need a high or low level of responsibility or influence?
• How important is recognition of success?
• Is work/life balance a priority for you?
• Do you like to be under the pressure of constant deadlines or targets?
• Is being creative important to you?
• How far are you willing to commute?
• What sort of volunteering would you like to do? Is that also a possible career?
• If you could be a teacher, what two subjects would you like to teach?
• Imagine someone gave you $500,000 to invest in a business venture. What would it be?
• If you could attend any conference anywhere in the world at no cost, what would the topic be?

Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself, you’ll have a better idea of the direction in which you might want to head.  If you’re still in a fog, take a F-R-E-E profile analysis to gain greater insight into your current situation and make your vision of the future even clearer.

It’s pretty cool! Check it out here:

Attitude is a Matter of Choice

What are you sculpting today?

The Sculptor’s Attitude

“I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or … I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or … I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or … I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or … I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or … I can celebrate that the thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or … I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or … I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or … eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or … I can feel honored because God has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY … unless you have other plans.”

—Author Unknown

This piece spoke to me because of a recent client. He had just completed an assessment which pinpointed how his THINKING, (not the situations) was not only causing stress in his life and leading to health issues but also keeping him from being successful. Seeing it “on paper” was a real AHA moment for him.

We talk to ourselves all day and 90% of it is negative. If you’re at all familiar with some of the quantum physics concepts, you know that what you put out into the world is what you get back. The more negativity you put out there, the more negative situations you will find around you.

So next time you have a negative thought, STOP, and turn it into a positive one. It can’t hurt and it might just change your life. It’s your choice!

What Stands Between You and What You Want?

The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible. — Richard M. DeVos

This particular comment spoke to me because of something that happened recently.

My husband and I attended an evening at the Austrian Embassy in Washington DC. Not only was the focus of the evening on the particular part of the country that is my birthplace but it also featured an art exhibit. At one point in the evening raffle tickets were being sold. I don’t often participate in raffles but this one was special.

The raffle was for a work of art by an artist who had been educated at the same art school in Austria that my mother attended back in the early 1940s. Not only that, but she knew the same professor. Something about the connection “spoke to me” so we bought six tickets. I just knew the painting was meant for me!

If you guessed that they called my number, you are correct. That unlikely connection made me want to try and I believed it was possible. Some people may call it coincidence. I choose to call it The Law of Attraction at work. If you have the vision, are totally committed and take action, anything is possible!

What do you want in life?

Do you have the will to try and get it?

Do you truly believe it’s possible?

Stressed Out? Let Blue Calm You

Spring is such a beautiful time of the year – it’s my favorite season. Nature provides us with an abundance of colors and fragrances. Don’t all the yellows, pinks, whites and other colors of the blossoms give your mood a boost? They do mine!