Posts tagged: midlife

Midlife Dreams: Do You Believe They’re Possible?

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -­ Richard M. DeVos

Points to Ponder 

What do I want from life?

What is standing between me and getting it?

How would I feel if I never achieved what I wanted?

How will I feel when I get what I want?

Do I believe getting what I want is possible?

Take Action!
                          
If you don’t know what you truly want, take the time NOW to find out. Don’t leave this life with “if only I had followed my heart.”

Imagine the feeling of getting what you want – joy, excitement, enthusiasm for life, bliss, contentment. Focus on it as often as you can.

If you don’t believe it’s possible, ask yourself “why not?”  The answers will undoubtedly be self-limiting beliefs that can be overcome.

Commit to taking one step, today, towards overcoming whatever is blocking you.

Midlife and Thereafter: Instead of a Nursing Home

There will be no nursing home in my future…

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don’t look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

How about that for a great plan for the future?


Would anyone actually consider living this sort of life?  Yes indeed…

Bea Muller, an 86-year-old retiree, has been a permanent resident on Cunard’s Queen Elizabeth 2 since 5 January 2000. Her husband had passed away while the couple was on a world cruise 11 months earlier, and rather than opt for a retirement home, Mrs Muller sold her house and possessions and booked herself onto the ship.  She is not the first-time long cruiser: Cunard had one previous guest, Clair MacBeth, who lived on board for 14 years.

If you have no idea of what your “midlife or thereafter” looks like, consider taking The Passion Test to get clear on your new direction.  Contact me [evelin(at)blueprints4change.com] for further information.

Midlife: Find your Hidden Treasures!

Don’t let fear stop you from venturing into the unknown. It’s a glorious meadow filled with hidden treasures. Dance through it till you find the gold — Evelin Saxinger, ND

Field of Treasures

Field of Treasures

Points to Ponder 

What unknown am I facing right now?

What am I afraid of?

How would doing the unknown make a difference in my world?

What’s the worst that could happen?

What’s the best thing that could happen?

Take Action!
                          
Look for a way to meet the fear head on. It probably won’t be as bad as you think.

Imagine the feeling of finding the hidden treasures.

Start dancing!

When you find the treasures, reward yourself and celebrate!

Midlife Health: Brain Power

Feel like you’re becoming a little forgetful?  Does your thinking become fuzzy at times?  Are you having trouble concentrating? 

Declining brain function is not synonymous with aging.   There are many middle-aged people who are as sharper, if not more so, than younger people. Take a look at your brain’s diet – you may need more brain nutrition.

  • Avoid trans fats – the chemicals replace natural DHA in brain cell membranes and disrupt neuron communication.
  • Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) – the brain is composed of 60% EFAs. Keep it well oiled with omega-3 oils (spinach, sprouts, avocado, arugula and other leafy greens, fish, shellfish, olive oil, nuts and seeds, wheat germ, beans).
  • Drink lots of water – short term memory is affected by a lack of body fluids.

Exercise is also key to keeping the brain nourished.  It increases oxygen and blood supply which the brain depends on for wellbeing.

Laughter can do wonders for your health and your mind.  It’s hard to be depressed when you’re laughing. Here’s a poem I recently came across that may make you smile….

A Little Mixed Up

Just a line to say I’m living,
That I’m not among the dead.
Though I’m getting more forgetful
And more mixed up in the head.

For sometimes I can’t remember,
When I stand at foot of stairs,
If I must go up for something,
Or if I’ve just come down from there.

And before the fridge so often
My poor mind is filled with doubt
Have I just put food away?…or
Have I come to take some out?

And there’s times when it is dark out,
With my night cap on my head
I don’t know if I’m retiring
Or just getting out of bed.

So…if it’s my turn to write you
There’s no need of getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don’t want to be a bore!!

So, remember…I do love you
And I wish that you were here,
But now it’s nearly mail time,
So I must say good-bye my dear.

There I stood beside the mail box
With a face so very red
Instead of mailing you my letter,
I had opened it instead!!

My bifocals fit – my dentures are fine
My hearing aid works … but … I do miss my mind!!!

— Author Unknown

Midlife Health: Manage your Stress by Becoming a Child

With all the stresses and busy-ness of today’s life, take some time to remember how “simple” things were when you were a child.  How much fun it was just to skim a rock across a still lake, wander through the woods with your dog, skip rope with friends in the park, feed seagulls on the beach!  No responsibilities, no worries, nothing to do except have fun.  Consider becoming a child again, at least for a short period of time.  Your responsibilities will still be there when you return but they will seem less burdensome after your break.

 

Resignation

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four-star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a pavement with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and play doctors and nurses with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all I knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, and it didn’t bother me, because I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

All I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worry or upset.

I want to think the world is fair … that everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my mobile phone. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause…
……”Tag! You’re it.”

— Author Unknown

Midlife: Walking the Talk

Today I’d like to share a guest post with you …

Walking the Talk

Walking the Talk

Most conversations seem to be carried on while people aren’t moving.  Instead, they are seated around a table, in a restaurant booth, on a park bench, at an office desk.  Does their being sedentary affect the quality of communication?

Probably, yes.  For example, persons seated across from one another may be more confrontational.  As well, people seated may be more “fixed” in their viewpoints, just as they are fixed in their seats.  Furthermore, where you sit often signals who has more power.  The one at the head of the table tends to be the chairperson or the boss.  Spacing and seating like this are concerns of the science of proxemics devised by anthropologist Edward T. Hall and explained in his classic book, The Hidden Dimension.

What, if any, might be the advantages of talking while walking?

1.  When persons walk together, side by side, they almost always walk in rhythm, almost like a dance.  When “in sync,” we humans feel more similar and collaborative and thus more prone to common understanding and agreement.  That’s a plus.

2.  Talking while walking side-by-side has the effect of diffusing intensity because we’re not looking directly at each other.  Because we must look where we’re stepping, our full attention can’t be on the other person.  This lessened attention can also be positive, at least in certain situations.

3.  When we are walking, we are not only getting some exercise, but also our bodies are releasing “good chemicals” – the endorphins that lift our mood.  (Physicians typically prescribe “take a walk in the park” for patients who suffer from depression.) As well, even gentle exercise like walking can have the effect of raising the serotonin level in one’s system, the result being an enhancement of mood and reduction of anger and aggression.  Certainly, talking is more congenial when we’re in a good mood.

4.  Walking in nature can be especially powerful in stimulating good feelings.  Strolling through a rose garden, down a lushly tree-lined path, or in a redwood forest gives us awesome beauty and may induce a broader perspective on differences we may have with others. 

5.  For those who might think that to talk about serious topics we must be seated, as at a conference table or in a classroom, I’ll remind you of Jesus and Buddha, teaching their disciples while walking.  And of the “peripatetic school” of Aristotle and his own teacher, Plato, known for discussing big ideas while walking around.  In modern times, history describes significant diplomatic negotiations that took place during “a walk in the woods.”

6.  Finally, I have often observed “mall walking” by small groups of friends.  (Here in Las Vegas, far too hot for walking outside in the summertime, shopping malls allow these groups to walk for exercise before stores open.)  These groups are not only exercising, but they’re creating lively social events.  Everyone’s walking, and most walkers are talking.  And the socializing seems to be more fun than if they were sedentary in a coffee shop.

I hope this short article has given you some good reasons for “walking your talk.”  Doing so has some advantages.

(Dr. Loren Ekroth, a national expert on conversation, publishes a complimentary newsletter each week.  Subscribe at www.conversationmatters.com)

Midlife Stress: The Need for Approval Leads to Indecision

Here is the fourth post in my series of “are you plagued by stressful thinking patterns?”

Do you find yourself procrastinating frequently and unable to make decisions? A possible reason may be your need for approval.  Perhaps you need acceptance and permission from others so that you can feel comfortable in decision-making and daily living. The degree of the need for approval ranges from being self-sufficient to being dependent.  The more you need approval for your actions, the more dependent you become on others to determine your self-worth.

How many of the following statements are true for you?

  • I harbor insecurities
  • I am over cautious
  • I seem wishy-washy
  • I imitate others
  • I am reluctant to try anything new
  • I have many fears
  • I appear anxious
  • I need to put on a false front
  • I tend to tell people what I think they want to hear
  • I work hard for the approval of others
  • I worry about whether people like to be with me
  • I bend over backwards to please others
  • I find it difficult to take control of my own life
  • I worry about being rejected by others
  • I always follow, never lead
  • I fear risk-taking
  • I fear making mistakes
  • I am filled with self-pity
  • I negate my own ideas
  • I accomplish little on my own
  • I have a limited social life

Any of these statements make an excellent starting point for EFT. If you would like help in getting rid of your need for approval, contact me at evelin(AT)blueprints4change.com or visit my website http://www.blueprints4change.com

A related post you may wish to read is Do you have a Poor Self Image? http://budurl.com/ep6s

Midlife Transition: Am I on the Right Path?

For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart.  There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.  And there I travel, looking, looking, breathlessly.
–Don Juan, in Carlos Castaneda’s  A Yaqui Way of Knowledge  (Don Juan’s Teachings)

Ask Yourself

  • Am I passionate about the path I am on today?  Is my heart in it?
  • Am I committed to following the path in its entirety?
  • Am I so involved that it takes my breath away?

Take Action

  • If you need to change the path, take the first step and do so, RIGHT NOW.
  • Look at the path from ALL sides … engage in “out of the box” thinking.
  • Choose to be FULLY on the path

Better Late Bloomer than No Bloomer!

I recently went to see the musical Gypsy at a local theater. It’s the story of the vaudeville stripper Gypsy Rose Lee, her sister Louise and their overbearing mother as they traipse across the US in the 1920s looking for fame and fortune. Actually it’s only Rose, the mother, who’s doing the looking. Her two daughters couldn’t care less.  They would much rather stay put somewhere in a house with a white picket fence enjoying life with family and friends.

Are you someone who is living a life based on what your parents wanted or what you thought you SHOULD do rather than following your passion? Perhaps you followed a path because it was secure and would provide you with a pension when you retired? It’s easy to do.

Now at midlife you’re wondering if it’s too late to follow that dream.  Don’t be one of those people who reaches the end of life saying “If only I had….” These are words that my mother has spoken many times.  It’s heartbreaking, both for her and for me.  Don’t put yourself in that position.

Ray Kroc was 52 when he took over a small-scale McDonalds Corporation franchise and built it into the most successful fast-food operation in the world.  Grandma Moses was almost 80 when she began creating the paintings that have made her famous.  Ronald Reagan was 61 when he became Governor of California. Frank McCourt, the author who wrote the bestseller “Angela’s Ashes” first began writing when he was in his sixties. 

So start now. Take some time, figure out what you’re passionate about and then go for it! If you need some help with uncovering your passions, The Passion Test™ is an excellent tool. Contact me, evelin(at)blueprints4change.com, and let’s strategize together. 

Remember –It’s never too late to be who you might have been (George Eliot, English novelist, 1819-1880)

Midlife – Eliminate Procrastination and Start Living the Life You Want

Have you ever put off your most important tasks until later and then later and later while you are busy with less important issues?  Do you find it difficult to make decisions? Maybe you’ve been called lazy because you hope that you may have more time and be in a better mood in the future to start a project and do it properly? Perhaps you have a belief that you don’t deserve success!

If you’ve spent the first half of your life being plagued by procrastination, perhaps now is the time to change your thinking and deal with this compulsion so that you can live a more productive second half of life.  A hidden self-sabotaging program lies at the root of procrastination.  This program is fueled by self-fulfilling prophecies and beliefs such as

I don’t deserve it
I’m not acceptable
I’m not good enough
I don’t belong
I’m not wanted
It’s always my fault
Life is a struggle

Many of these self-fulfilling prophecies were created before birth, at birth or during our earliest days.  Becoming aware of these negative beliefs that create our indecision and anxiety about completing our goals is the first step in ridding ourselves of this troublesome behavior.

If you find yourself using any of the typical “procrastinator phrases” such as

I wish I could
I should
I shouldn’t
I have to
I had better
If I don’t
I probably will
I hope to
Maybe I will
I think I could
I’ll try
I need to
If only I could

Replace them with the following instead

I will ______ because I want to
I will definitely _____
I am confident that I can _____
It’s in my power to _____
I choose to _____ now
I know I can _____

Consider how your life might change if you were to stop procrastinating.  The things that are holding you back most are the ones which will free you the most – once you take action.  Take that action now! 

In the next post I will talk about a tool that you can use to help get rid of your “procrastinator beliefs”.

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