Midlife Passion or Fantasy?

A question I was recently asked by a participant in my workshop about finding and living your passions (those things that are truly important to you) was “how do I know if this (what I want) is really my passion or just pie-in-the-sky?”  In other words, is this goal inspired by higher-level values or is it simply a fantasy?

Values are the motivators of your behavior.  Your values are those deeply-held beliefs about what is good or bad, appropriate or not, right or wrong.  They come from childhood (the first seven years when your critical-thinking skills were not developed) and are based on your observations of those people around you – parents, grandparents, teachers, religious leaders etc.

Your motivation to live your passions and achieve your goals is based on your perception of the feeling that passion will give you once it is achieved. Is that feeling internally- or externally-driven?  The answer will give you insight into whether or not your goal is a worthy one.  Whether it is truly your passion or a fantasy.

Step 1 – What is the Underlying Value?

Look at your passion/goal and ask yourself the following question until you get to an answer that repeats if you continue to ask the question – When I am living this passion (goal that is truly important), what will that get me? That repeating answer will be a value (freedom, security, peace, etc).

Example: Your passion is to be the top Country and Western singer in Nashville

Question: What will that get me?

— I’ll be in front of large audiences

What will that get me?

— Fame and fortune

What will that get me?

— Lots of money

What will that get me?

— A big house, fast cars, worldwide travel

What will that get me?

— Happiness  and fun

So the values are happiness and fun

Step 2: Is the Value Internally- or Externally-Driven?

Once you have determined what the value is, can you get it if you do not achieve your goal?  So the next question is – If I never achieve this passion, will I still be able to get/be (Value)?

From the example above: If I never get to be a famous C&W singer, can I still get happiness and fun?

If the answer is no, then you are depending on something external to yourself to bring you happiness and fun.  If achieving your goal is the ONLY way you can get happiness and fun, then you are being ego-driven.

If on the other hand, you say, “yes I can still have happiness and fun even if I never live my passion because I enjoy singing just for myself even when there is nobody around.  Singing makes me happy on the inside and it’s a tremendous amount of fun” then you are being internally motivated.

Your goal is a worthy one! You will likely have the drive and energy to pursue it until you are successful even if you are faced with challenges along the way.

Midlife Dreams

Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together ~ Anais Nin, French author

Follow Your Passions

Taking a short mental vacation during the day can transport you to another place. Here you can relive wonderful experiences, precious moments with loved ones, or memories of faraway places.  You can be yourself and follow your star. Perhaps you’ve already lived some dreams but deep down inside you know there are more waiting to be discovered.

Let your mind wander to what the future may hold.  To dreams of goals yet not achieved, people not yet encountered, passions not yet found.  Re-discover and awaken your inner creativity.  Don’t reason, analyze or think. Just go!  Bask in the feelings of living a fulfilled life.  What are you going to create?

As you let your mind wander, imagine that you are at the end of the coming year:

• What positive change will you have made?
• What will have been your biggest accomplishment?
• What is the most important thing you will have learned about yourself?
• What will you have done to experience the most joy?
• How will you have had fun?
• Who or what will you have been most committed to?
• What was the biggest risk you will have taken?
• Who will you have made smile often?

Weave together your dreams, those sparks of aliveness. Allow them to inspire you and create your purpose.  Fueled by purpose you will experience a powerful and enduring source of energy.  Focus on what moves you and is meaningful and PDD (“Passion Deficit Disorder”) will be a thing of the past!

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost.  That is where they should be. Now put foundations under them ~ Henry David Thoreau

I Don’t Have Time to Follow My Passions!

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”      — H. Jackson Brown, author

Ask Yourself…

• Is this really a passion or just something that might be fun or nice to do?
• Will you be extremely upset if you NEVER get to do “this passion”? If the answer is yes, what’s stopping you from finding the time to at least take the next step?
• What is the benefit of choosing in favor of your passions?
• How will you feel when you are doing something that you’re really passionate about?

Take Action …

• Understand that it’s YOUR choice as to how you spend your time.
• Be more conscious of how you are choosing to spend your time today.
• Spend less time on those things that you aren’t passionate about.

It’s not always easy to choose between mundane tasks and those things that “light your fire” but with practice, it can become a habit.  When you’re fully engaged in doing a task that is truly important to you, time will appear to stand still and you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish.  As an added benefit, you’ll reduce your stress level!

If you still don’t know what you’re passionate about, contact me, evelin(at)blueprints4change.com, so that I can take you through The Passion Test.

Midlife Transition: Living Your Passions

If you’ve hit midlife and still feel that you haven’t experienced life to its fullest, now is the time.  Don’t wait until you’re at the “Bucket List” stage and time is running out.  

A key ingredient to living a fulfilling life is following your passions. If you don’t know what they are, take the time to discover them NOW.  Don’t give up on your dreams because you only have some vague concept of what they are. Do whatever it takes to get clear! 

If you’re giving up because of obstacles you’ve encountered, remember that it took Edison thousands of tries before he invented a working light bulb. Believe that you will achieve your objectives and you will.

Let your passion lead the way and persevere.  Living your purpose, your passion, is the true joy of life. 

True Joy of Life

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I’ve got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handing it on to future generations

— George Bernard Shaw