Create Your Life: It’s a Choice!

Create Your Life

 

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created—created first in mind and will, created next in activity.  The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.   The paths to it are not found but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination–

John H(omer) Schaar (born July 7, 1928), scholar and political theorist.

We all have our stories based on our experiences and the belief system that evolved from those experiences.  The way we confront, rise above and transform them creates the picture that we call OUR LIFE.

If you want to see how powerful you are, look at your life. It is the expression of all the beliefs you have held till now.

Perhaps the first thing that comes to your mind is “bad news.”  However, the GOOD NEWS is that if you don’t like the movie, you can change it.  The choice is up to you!

How do you change your negative beliefs might be your next question!  My favorite way is by using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)   If you would like to learn more about EFT, contact me via my website at http://www.blueprints4change.com

How Do You Face Adversity?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, how things were so hard for her. She didn’t know how she was going to make it, and she wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one of her problems was solved, a new one popped up. 

Her mother took her into her kitchen, where she filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed some carrots, in the second one, she placed some eggs, and in the third pot, she placed some ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word, then in about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners.

She fished out the carrots and placed them into a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them into another bowl then she ladled the coffee into yet another bowl. Turning to her complaining daughter, she asked, ‘Tell me, what you see?’ ‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ her daughter replied. 

She brought her daughter closer, and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did, and noticed that they were now soft. She told her daughter to break an egg, which she did, and after removing the shell, she saw that the egg was now hard-boiled. Finally, she told her daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled as she tasted the rich flavor, then asked, ‘What’s the point, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of the three objects had faced the very same adversity — boiling water — but each had reacted differently:

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened, and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water!

 ‘Now, which are you?’ she asked her daughter, ‘when adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?’

Think of it like this…….Which am I? Am I a carrot that appears to be strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt, and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I an egg that starts out with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter, and tough, with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually CHANGES THE WATER!!  The very circumstance that brings the pain!! When the water gets hot, it releases its fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better……and change the situation around you! When the hours are the darkest, and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to the next level?

— Author Unknown

 
How do you handle adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Procrastination – What Do I Tap On?

Following on from my last two posts about Procrastination…

Now that you know EFT can help you eliminate procrastination, how do you come up with the phrases to use while tapping?

Here’s what you do:

• Ask yourself – What is the potentially difficult situation?  What am I procrastinating about?
• Establish the root fear or limiting belief that’s holding you back from __________(the situation)? What am I afraid will happen if I do  _________?   (It may be fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of doing it wrong, fear of asking for what you want, fear of saying no to someone, etc.)

Let’s pick fear of failure, just for argument’s sake.

• Think back to your childhood. What is the earliest memory you have of failing at something? Write it down.
• Write down ALL the events in life in which you can remember that feeling of having failed (your parents, kids in grade school, high school, the dating years, sports tryouts, career, etc.)
• Now, think about what MEANING you created about yourself as a result of each of those incidents. (I’m not good enough … I’m dumb … I’ll never be good at writing … When I start something new, I fail … i’m not cut out to make a lot of money, etc. Really spend some time on this, because that’s where the core issue lies.
• Then, make a separate list of how these MEANINGS you created have stopped you in life. What behavior did you take on? Did you stop reaching out? Did you stop taking chances? Did you retreat into a hole? Did you hold back from taking advantage of opportunities that could have advanced you? Write them all down.
• You took on this behavior to avoid feeling __________? (like an idiot, sick with anxiety, not good enough)

Now that you have a list of beliefs and emotions, use EFT to eliminate them. Take action now and free yourself from what is holding you back!

To Learn More About EFT and Download a Free Manual, go to http://budurl.com/WorldCenterforEFT

Eliminate Procrastination with EFT

Is something holding you back from realizing your full potential or making the changes you say you want to make?  Has your creativity come to a standstill?  Do you feel blocked in your motivation to achieve your goals?

Lasting Emotional Freedom Is Now At Your Fingertips!

In my last post I talked about procrastination and mentioned a tool for helping you eliminate it.  That tool is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

EFT is the doorway to freeing yourself from the emotional blocks that are keeping you from living a more fulfilling life.  In essence, it is a psychological version of acupuncture without the needles.  Instead, you “tune in” to your emotional issue while stimulating stress relief points by tapping on them with your fingertips.  This provides a meridian “balancing effect” that replaces emotional distress with a form of peace.  While the process is not perfect, it often works where everything else fails.

EFT can help you break out of the procrastination mode and become more motivated to achieve your goals.  Begin by using it on such limiting beliefs as I mentioned in my last post.  Then tap on all those other beliefs you might have around the issue. 

If you are new to EFT, you can find a summary page of the tapping points and the appropriate phrases on the Resources page of my website – http://www.blueprints4change.com/pdf/EFTprocedure.pdf

… and procrastinate no more!

Midlife – Eliminate Procrastination and Start Living the Life You Want

Have you ever put off your most important tasks until later and then later and later while you are busy with less important issues?  Do you find it difficult to make decisions? Maybe you’ve been called lazy because you hope that you may have more time and be in a better mood in the future to start a project and do it properly? Perhaps you have a belief that you don’t deserve success!

If you’ve spent the first half of your life being plagued by procrastination, perhaps now is the time to change your thinking and deal with this compulsion so that you can live a more productive second half of life.  A hidden self-sabotaging program lies at the root of procrastination.  This program is fueled by self-fulfilling prophecies and beliefs such as

I don’t deserve it
I’m not acceptable
I’m not good enough
I don’t belong
I’m not wanted
It’s always my fault
Life is a struggle

Many of these self-fulfilling prophecies were created before birth, at birth or during our earliest days.  Becoming aware of these negative beliefs that create our indecision and anxiety about completing our goals is the first step in ridding ourselves of this troublesome behavior.

If you find yourself using any of the typical “procrastinator phrases” such as

I wish I could
I should
I shouldn’t
I have to
I had better
If I don’t
I probably will
I hope to
Maybe I will
I think I could
I’ll try
I need to
If only I could

Replace them with the following instead

I will ______ because I want to
I will definitely _____
I am confident that I can _____
It’s in my power to _____
I choose to _____ now
I know I can _____

Consider how your life might change if you were to stop procrastinating.  The things that are holding you back most are the ones which will free you the most – once you take action.  Take that action now! 

In the next post I will talk about a tool that you can use to help get rid of your “procrastinator beliefs”.