Midlife Inspiration: You’re Never Too Old to Live Your Dreams

I recently spent some time visiting assisted-living facilities and nursing homes.  The event that prompted this “adventure” was my mother having a stroke and becoming visually impaired. Unfortunately this necessitated her no longer being able to live on her own and therefore having to make other arrangements.

What struck me as I was investigating these facilities and talking to some of the residents was how disengaged in life many of the folks had become.  The “why” I discovered was that fundamentally they believed they had nothing left to live for.

Some hadn’t even begun to empty out their “bucket lists” –  do those things they had always dreamt about.  When I commented that it was never too late, the majority said, “Oh no, I’m too old.”  What a sad statement.

I don’t believe we’re ever too old to experience the joy of doing something we truly love, even if it’s just a small piece of it.  For example, a client once told me that, at the age of 75, he was far too old to even contemplate becoming an architect, his life’s dream.  Perhaps he wasn’t about to go back to school to do the requisite study but does that mean he couldn’t live out his dream in another way.  He could have opted to volunteer at an architect’s office or do some simple online CAD training.  Anything that was related to architectural work.

If you need some inspiration to follow your dreams, then maybe these examples might spur you on:

• Benjamin Franklin, at age 78, invented bifocal spectacles.
• Mary Fasano, age 89, earned her undergraduate degree from Harvard.
• Architect Frank Lloyd Wright designed the Guggenheim Museum at 90 years of age.
• David Ben-Gurion, the first prime minister of Israel, taught himself ancient Greek when he was at an advanced age just so he could master the classics.

Ages 35-55 might be the peak times for creativity in many fields but people in their 60s and 70s, though slower, are as productive as they were in their 20s. So if you’ve given up because you think you’re too old, think again, get rid of that limiting belief and GO FOR IT!

Cellist Pablo Casals was 91 when a student asked, “Master, why do you continue to practice?” His reply, “Because I am making progress.”

Have You Lost Your Reason for Being Born?

As the little children were leaving school one day the teacher asked them to bring in their birth certificates the next day.  As he was about to head off to school with it the next morning, one little boy was cautioned by his mother to be particularly careful with it since it was a very important document.  But unfortunately, by the time he got to class he had lost it anyway.  He began to cry.

Billie answered tearfully, “I lost my reason for being born!”

Have you ever thought that you shouldn’t have been born? Have you made apologies for who you are because you believed that others were better than you? Have you felt like you had nothing to contribute to life?

Nobody on this earth is more or less valuable than you.  We all have gifts to share, no matter how small or how insignificant we might think those are. Perhaps it’s just a smile that brightens someone else’s day.  Sometimes we need to be reminded how significant we are especially during those times when we’re feeling “down and out”.

I recently ended a presentation on the power of our thoughts to shape our life with the following words.  If you’re currently feeling less joyful than you know you can be, perhaps they will lift your spirits.

What will you do with the rest of your life?

… so CHOOSE now …

BECOME CLEAR about who you are
PLANT the seeds of success
CHANGE your thoughts, behaviors and habits
DEVELOP self confidence
BUILD courage
ALIGN yourself with the positive
MOVE forward one step at a time

ENGAGE your heart, not just your mind
REMEMBER that you reap what you sow
STEP outside of your comfort zone
RELEASE the past
MAKE it the life you want NOW

NEVER, EVER give up!

Learn To Dance In The Rain

This was written by Steve Rizzo, a colleague at the National Speakers Association.  Having lived in Hawaii myself for a number of years, I connected to the sentiment...

A few weeks ago I spent four wonderful days at the Four Seasons Hotel in Kona Hawaii, where I had the pleasure of speaking to a wonderful group of Top Sales Performers and spouses of Ameritus Financial.

My job was to give them the tools they need to embrace the changes and intense growth they were currently experiencing and will inevitably continue to experience in the coming years.  I knew the tension was high, but I was prepared.

One morning, two hours before my speech, I was having breakfast at a restaurant with a captivating view of the ocean.  As the waitress was pouring my coffee, I asked, “Why is it that no matter where they are, or what they are doing, Hawaiian people always seem to be happy and at peace with themselves?  Is there some kind of secret that I should know about?   And if there is, can you please tell me?”

She laughed and looked around as if to make sure that no one was listening and in a low voice she replied, “Mr. Rizzo today is your lucky day.  For today I will tell you the secret that most Hawaiian people live by”.  She sat down in the chair next to me, motioned me to get closer and whispered in my ear.  “We learn to dance in the rain”.

Before I had a chance to respond, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a laminated card and handed it to me and said “This is for you.  It really is a secret that should be shared with everyone.”   “Don’t wait for the storms of your life to pass.  Learn to dance in the rain”.

Read that again my friend.  That statement is a touchstone for living a successful, happier life, especially when you are experiencing intense change and growth of any kind.  That in part is the message I shared with the wonderful people of Ameritus Financial.

“Dancing in the rain” is an attitude that truly happy and successful people live by and few dancers come by it naturally.  Can you learn to dance in the rain when the storms of change and misfortune are pouring down on you?   I believe the answer is yes.  It’s a matter of shifting your focus and way of thinking when times are tough that makes the difference.

That is to say, when the storms of life are pouring down on you, you can muster up enough courage to dance and bless the things that life has given you, or, you can drown as you curse your challenges and unfortunate circumstances.   I don’t know about you, but I’ll take dancing over drowning any day!

website: www.SteveRizzo.com

email: steve@steverizzo.com

blog: http://motivational-humor-speaker.blogspot.com

Midlife Inspiration: Are You Standing on the Inside?

Bounce Back or Stay Down!

The Balloon Man
A father took his boy into a toy shop. The boy got away from his dad and found a statue of a man made of balloons. The boy looked at it for a minute, and then he drew back his fist and 
hit the balloon man just as hard as he could. The man fell over, and then popped right back up. 

The confused boy backed off and looked at him again and then hit him again as hard as he could. Again the man fell over, and again he popped right back up. 

The boy’s father walked around the corner and saw his son hit that balloon man. The father asked his son, “Why do you think he comes back up when you hit him and knock him down?” 

The boy thought for a minute and said, “I don’t know, I guess it’s because he’s standing up on the inside. — Unknown

We have a choice as to how we think.  We may feel out of control when life throws us one blow after another, but we can always choose our thoughts.  We may not physically be able to bounce back up every time but when our thoughts have us standing up on the inside, we reflect that on the outside.

Are you standing up on the inside? When another challenge surfaces, and by midlife we’ve had plenty, do you bounce back up or do you stay down, feeling defeated and wallowing in self-pity? It’s your choice!

Are You the Wise Woman or the Traveler?

The Stone

She did so without hesitation.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said.  “I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.”

–Author unknown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I read this story it brought to mind a movie I saw this past weekend – The King’s Speech. The story revolves around England’s Prince Albert, soon to become King George VI,  and his unfortunate and debilitating stutter.  His wife hires an Australian speech therapist to help Albert overcome his impediment. The two become lifelong friends as the therapist, who has no conventional credentials, uses unconventional means to teach Albert how to speak without stuttering.

It was what the speech therapist had within that changed Prince Albert’s life. His experience, desire to make a difference and genuine concern enabled him to give Albert something more precious than any amount of money – self respect, self-worth and confidence in being more than he ever thought he could be.

What do you have within you that can change someone’s life?

How to Cook a Wife

(Advice to young men by an old man)

Start Cooking Early and Regularly

I was recently looking up a recipe for my annual baking of the “great” Australian Christmas cake when I came across this amusing “recipe” in a 30-year-old edition of the Qantas Flight Hostess Club cookbook.  Yes, once upon a time I was a Flight Hostess, back in the dark ages when it was still a glamorous and much sought-after career.  The recipe gave me a chuckle so I thought I’d share it with you.  All my male readers, please make a note of the excellent advice given!

How to Cook a Wife

• Having caught a wife, light the fire of love and see that a steady heat is kept in the domestic oven.
• Dress her generously and handle her tenderly, for a woman’s feelings are easily bruised.
• Butter her freely with compliments and stuff her with flattery, to which add a handful of chestnuts about her being the most wonderful woman in the world and that you never loved before and you could never love again — and so on.
• Be sure to season with a little time and do not on any account omit a bouquet of sweet herbs.
• Garnish with theater tickets and an occasional restaurant after the play, and serve with a rich sauce of affection.

This dish can be highly recommended as the pièce de résistance of the family menu.

The reason so many men fail in cooking this dish is that they do not regulate the heat sufficiently.  They start with too much fire which they soon neglect and let go out after a short time.

Make a Difference!

My husband and I recently spent a week on Longboat Key, Florida. Our two-bedroom condo, albeit rather rustic in appearance, was located right on the beach, which meant that all we had to do was go down a flight of stairs and we were directly on the sand.  The sunsets were spectacular, the beach uncrowded and the water a tepid lukewarm temperature.

Each time we walked along the beach we spent considerable time delving through pile upon pile of shells. Many were a delight to behold but the highlight was a live starfish floating gently to and fro in about ¼” of water.  I had never seen one before, nor had friends who had lived at the beach for years. That starfish reminded me of the following story…

The Starfish Story

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

(adapted from “The Star Thrower” by Loren Eiseley (1907-1977)

So ask yourself, have you made a difference for someone or something today?  Perhaps it was an action so small you don’t even remember… a kind word … a smile … a helping hand. It may not have seemed like much but it could have made a difference!

It’s a Matter of Perception

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?” “It was great, Dad.” “Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked. “Oh Yeah” said the son. “So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.” With this the boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each day we go through a myriad of feelings.  Sometimes we’re joyful and happy, sometimes frustrated and angry or perhaps simply in a neutral space.  One feeling lasts for a period of time and is then replaced by another one.

These feelings are the result of our perceptions about what is going on in the moment.  Our reality.  But my reality is not the same as your reality.  Imagine that you are out walking at dusk.  You turn a corner on a dusty road, see a snake and scream.  I am right behind you, turn the same corner and see only a piece of rope on the road. Same situation, different perceptions.  In the story above, the father sees poverty where his son sees abundance.

So next time you are feeling frustrated, angry and irritated, at yourself or someone else, take a moment and try to see the situation from a different perspective. Sometimes life isn’t fair and sometimes we have no control over events but there’s always another way to look at it if we just stop and take the time.

“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” — Anais Nin

Aging and Attitude

The following poem was found among the possessions of an aged lady who died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland. Unknown and with little left to give to the world, she has touched the lives of many all around the world with these eloquent words.

A Crabbit Old Woman

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you’re looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,

When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try!”

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill….

Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse; you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of ten … with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet.

A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn.

At fifty, once more babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead.

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old woman …. and nature is cruel;

‘Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I’m loving and living life over again.

I think of the years … all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,

Not a crabby old woman; look closer, see ME!!

* * * * * * *

Remember this poem when you find yourself becoming irritated with an older person, being negatively judgmental or brushing by them without seeing the young soul inside. One day we too may be the “crabby old woman/man”!

Attitude is a Matter of Choice

What are you sculpting today?

The Sculptor’s Attitude

“I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or … I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or … I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or … I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or … I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or … I can celebrate that the thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or … I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or … I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or … eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or … I can feel honored because God has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY … unless you have other plans.”

—Author Unknown

This piece spoke to me because of a recent client. He had just completed an assessment which pinpointed how his THINKING, (not the situations) was not only causing stress in his life and leading to health issues but also keeping him from being successful. Seeing it “on paper” was a real AHA moment for him.

We talk to ourselves all day and 90% of it is negative. If you’re at all familiar with some of the quantum physics concepts, you know that what you put out into the world is what you get back. The more negativity you put out there, the more negative situations you will find around you.

So next time you have a negative thought, STOP, and turn it into a positive one. It can’t hurt and it might just change your life. It’s your choice!