Are You Missing a Sense of Purpose in Life?

At midlife we are more apt to move from a focus on career, success and family to needing to find a sense of purpose, a chance to make a difference, a belief that what we do matters in the world.  We still want to feel challenged but not in the same areas that were important during our younger years. We yearn for the satisfaction that comes from making an impact, however insignificant it might seem to those around us.

Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions. Write down the answers.  Even if the answers don’t come to you right now, just asking yourself the questions can get you started on the path to self discovery and how you might make a difference.  

If you were able to create anything at all, what do you really want to accomplish in life?
When, where and with whom would you want to accomplish it?
How would you know when you had achieved it – what would it look like?
What is preventing you from doing it?
Do you currently have any resources to help you start achieving that goal?
What else might you need?
Do you know how to get the resources you need?
What first step could you commit to taking right now?
How do you feel about taking that step?

Just remember, you never know when “To the world you may be one person but to one person, you may be the world!” (Anonymous)

How Would You Like to Live in a Retirement Community at the Age of 43?

As we get to midlife some of us may be thinking of a retirement community as an option for the future. Or perhaps we are dealing with parents who are moving into, or should be moving into, a retirement community.  We want to do what’s best for them but do we stop and think about how it might feel to make such a move?  We can only imagine because unless we physically take that step, it isn’t real.  Do we understand the emotions involved, the social fabric of the community, the physical environment, the services that are offered unless we ourselves spend time there?  

My mum lives in a retirement community in Australia.  I can be there and notice how she spends her days, how she interacts and connects with the other residents but I can never feel the emotions of actually having to live there. Mum doesn’t like it, for a number of different reasons, never has, and never will, even after having lived there for some 20+ years.

Finding the best retirement community, either for yourself or your parents, can be an overwhelming task. I found it fascinating when the publisher of the magazine Sourcebook:Your Guide to Retirement Living decided to move into such a community, at the age of 43, to experience senior housing options first hand.

If this is a topic you have an interest in, you may want to visit his blog at http://www.retirement-living.com/publisher/ and follow his experiences. Makes for interesting reading!

Is Your Life in a Rut?

Most of us come to a point in our lives when we know that life isn’t working the way we want it to. We become aware that we need to make some changes.  It could be anything from losing weight to changing a job to leaving a relationship.  Life is about change.  We give ourselves many reasons to change but when the “rubber meets the road” we find just as many reasons for not being able to make the changes. 

In order for us to make life changes easier, there are a few critical aspects to consider:

Do you have a deep and sincere desire to change?
If you are not motivated or excited enough from within, chances are that your success will be limited.  If the change is for some external reason and isn’t for yourself, you won’t have the motivation to make it stick.  For example, if you want to give up smoking because your spouse is constantly nagging you, but you happen to like smoking, you will undoubtedly fail.

Have you taken time for self reflection?
Understanding how you might self-sabotage will help you overcome the obstacles that might stand in your way. For example, I had a client some years back who adamantly stated she wanted to lose weight.  After losing about 30lbs she would hit a plateau that refused to budge. Long story short – her “back story” was that if she lost the weight, she would become attractive to men and may have to date again.  Scary thought since she had been molested as a child.  Until she was able to work through that issue, she would not be able to lose the weight she wanted.

Are you committed to doing whatever it takes to bring about the change?
I can’t tell you how many of my clients say they will do whatever it takes but then don’t have enough “time”, “money”, “resources” to get on with it.  Some change takes time and you may run into a few “potholes in the road”.  Are you going to “hang in there” when you hit one of these “holes”?

Can you visualize what success looks like?
Without clarity, it’s hard to reach your goals.  Just like having a roadmap to drive across the country, you need to know where you are going. An excellent tool to gain clarity about what is important to you, one that my clients love, is The Passion Test™. See http://blueprints4change.com/passiontest.htm for further information or go to http://budurl.com/thepassiontest

Do you have a support system?
It’s important to be surrounded by people (family, friends, pastor, coach) who know what you are trying to accomplish and support you every step of the way even though you may stumble from time to time.

Change can be exciting and fun; it doesn’t have to be frightening and distressing. With the right tools and support, change can be empowering, increasing your self esteem, sense of worth and fulfillment in life.  Isn’t it time to get out of the rut and give it a shot?

What Do You See in the Second Half of Your Life?

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.

After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many others never understand….

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one’s condition.

–Author Unknown

Got a Cold?

Over the last few weeks a number of people in my office have come down with colds so I thought this would be a good time to mention a few natural remedies to help combat the common cold.

Astragalus – builds up the body’s resistance to colds and flu by stimulating the immune system to help kill and protect against viruses. It also helps protect the liver and builds up the blood.

Goldenseal – a natural antibiotic and anti-viral. It boosts the immune system, helps the mucous membranes, and relieves upper respiratory infections and sore throats.

Garlic – boosts the immune system, relieves respiratory infections and helps fight infection from bacteria and viruses.

Ginger – a natural anti-inflammatory that eases headaches and muscle pain with anti-viral properties to kill cold viruses and relieve strep throat.

Willow bark – a natural painkiller to relieve fever, mild headaches and inflammation associated with colds and flu. My favorite as an alternative to aspirin, ibuprofen and other over-the-counter pain relievers.

My Mother swears by the following remedy – to a cup of tea, add a shot of rum, some fresh lemon juice and honey.  Delicious!

Lemon – is a good source of vitamin C.  It has long been thought to boost the immune system and shorten the duration and/or prevent the common cold. It helps acidify the body, stimulates digestion and elimination, and acts as a natural antiseptic.

Honey – is an anti-bacterial, soothes the throat, and is a good source of antioxidants. Raw, unfiltered honey provides the most benefit.

All material is provided for informational or educational purposes only. Please consult a physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or condition.

Mitigate Midlife Challenges by …

… Being More Optimistic!

Many of life’s greatest achievements unfold through the can-do attitude that comes from optimism. As Thomas Edison said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” It’s that attitude that led him to patent over 1,000 inventions including the light bulb.

You can choose to become more optimistic by increasing your awareness of your negative self-talk and changing it to something more positive. Try to see the best in people and situations every day.  This may be difficult at first but the more often you do it, the easier it will become. Keep in mind that you are only human and are going to face challenges.  View these as learning experiences that will help you grow and evolve as a human being. The key is to learn from the past, apply that knowledge to the present and be optimistic about what the future holds.

So remember that an optimistic attitude …

• May help reduce your risk of dying from heart disease and other causes, according to many studies
  
• Enables you to take risks, innovate, communicate, and be creative
  
• Makes you more productive and allows you to achieve greater things
  
• Helps you reach peak performance, while creating a can-do culture around you
  
• Allows more of your brilliance to shine through
  
• Helps you release negative events rather than internalizing them
  
• Gives you more confidence and hope in the future so that you are more ready to take risks and cope with failure
  
• Lets you positively influence your environment
  
• Gives you the ability to accept change and view life through the lens of “the glass is half full” rather then half empty
  

Tips for Healthy Work/Life Balance

The first step involves self-reflection. If you are a workaholic who is caught up in too much work and too many personal commitments here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself:

Am I being honest with myself? 
The first step in curing any addiction is an honest self-appraisal.  We all suffer from feelings of insecurity at certain times.  The workaholic deals with these feelings by proving that he/she can work harder and faster.  What insecurity is hiding behind all the running around?  Are you only worthwhile if you achieve things? 

How can I take more of a holistic approach? 
Attend to your personal as well as professional goals.  Focus on being a person first – play, laugh, dream, revive your curiosity.

Am I focusing on what is truly important to me? 
If you only had one more month to live, what would you do?  Don’t wait – do it now!

Am I living from my heart or my head?
Don’t continue to be seduced by power, money and size.  Let the less fortunate, the humble, sick, or very old teach you about matters of the heart.  They will accept you for who you are – they probably won’t be impressed by your achievements.

Do I understand that life is an ongoing project? 
Tell yourself that it’s okay not to complete everything today.  Practice leaving partially completed work on your desk.  Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.

Self reflection can sometimes take some digging to get to the core issue but it’s worth it if it leaves you one step closer to living a happier life!

Baby Boomer Health Tip: Breathe for Stress Relief and Anti-Aging

Deep breathing provides the body with numerous benefits. It is a simple but very effective method of relaxation.  It is an easy stress reliever that has numerous benefits for the body, including oxygenating the blood (which ‘wakes up’ the brain), relaxing muscles and quieting the mind. It can help you reduce muscle tension and manage the effects of the fight-or-flight response on your body. This is particularly important if you need to think clearly and perform precisely when you are under pressure.

Breathing exercises are especially helpful because you can do them anywhere, and they work quickly so you can de-stress in a flash.

As we go through life we pick up bad breathing habits. Being in a hurry most of the time, the increased stress of modern living and negative emotional states (anger, excitement, frustration) all impact the way we breathe, causing it to be shallow and fast. We become more fatigued since oxygen is important to energy production and our immune system is impaired so that we are more susceptible to disease.  Shallow breathing has also been linked to dizziness, fatigue, stomach problems, gas, sleep disorders, anxiety, muscle cramps, and chest pain

Degenerative diseases and premature aging start with low oxygen levels so start today with this simple exercise.
 
Place a hand on your abdomen, below your navel. Inhale slowly and deeply, feeling your abdomen rise beneath your hand as you fill with air. Exhale slowly, feeling your hand sink as you use your diaphragm to push the air out. Continue to breathe this way, focusing on using your diaphragm instead of your chest to move the air in and out of your body.  Remember to breathe through your nose, not your mouth.

Now take a number of deep breaths and relax your body further with each breath.  That’s all there is to it!

Procrastination – What Do I Tap On?

Following on from my last two posts about Procrastination…

Now that you know EFT can help you eliminate procrastination, how do you come up with the phrases to use while tapping?

Here’s what you do:

• Ask yourself – What is the potentially difficult situation?  What am I procrastinating about?
• Establish the root fear or limiting belief that’s holding you back from __________(the situation)? What am I afraid will happen if I do  _________?   (It may be fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of doing it wrong, fear of asking for what you want, fear of saying no to someone, etc.)

Let’s pick fear of failure, just for argument’s sake.

• Think back to your childhood. What is the earliest memory you have of failing at something? Write it down.
• Write down ALL the events in life in which you can remember that feeling of having failed (your parents, kids in grade school, high school, the dating years, sports tryouts, career, etc.)
• Now, think about what MEANING you created about yourself as a result of each of those incidents. (I’m not good enough … I’m dumb … I’ll never be good at writing … When I start something new, I fail … i’m not cut out to make a lot of money, etc. Really spend some time on this, because that’s where the core issue lies.
• Then, make a separate list of how these MEANINGS you created have stopped you in life. What behavior did you take on? Did you stop reaching out? Did you stop taking chances? Did you retreat into a hole? Did you hold back from taking advantage of opportunities that could have advanced you? Write them all down.
• You took on this behavior to avoid feeling __________? (like an idiot, sick with anxiety, not good enough)

Now that you have a list of beliefs and emotions, use EFT to eliminate them. Take action now and free yourself from what is holding you back!

To Learn More About EFT and Download a Free Manual, go to http://budurl.com/WorldCenterforEFT

Eliminate Procrastination with EFT

Is something holding you back from realizing your full potential or making the changes you say you want to make?  Has your creativity come to a standstill?  Do you feel blocked in your motivation to achieve your goals?

Lasting Emotional Freedom Is Now At Your Fingertips!

In my last post I talked about procrastination and mentioned a tool for helping you eliminate it.  That tool is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

EFT is the doorway to freeing yourself from the emotional blocks that are keeping you from living a more fulfilling life.  In essence, it is a psychological version of acupuncture without the needles.  Instead, you “tune in” to your emotional issue while stimulating stress relief points by tapping on them with your fingertips.  This provides a meridian “balancing effect” that replaces emotional distress with a form of peace.  While the process is not perfect, it often works where everything else fails.

EFT can help you break out of the procrastination mode and become more motivated to achieve your goals.  Begin by using it on such limiting beliefs as I mentioned in my last post.  Then tap on all those other beliefs you might have around the issue. 

If you are new to EFT, you can find a summary page of the tapping points and the appropriate phrases on the Resources page of my website – http://www.blueprints4change.com/pdf/EFTprocedure.pdf

… and procrastinate no more!