When I’ve been unsuccessful, I’ve been controlled. When I’ve been successful, I’ve been in control – Katherine Hepburn
Questions to Ask Yourself…
- If your life is out of control, who or what is “calling the shots”? (You may not be able to abdicate your responsibilities, but you can control the way you view them)
- Why are you allowing the who or what to control you? (You must be gaining some benefit by allowing this to happen. If you weren’t getting something out of it, you would change it)
- What will happen if you take back control? (It may not be as bad as you think)
- Do you know what taking back control looks like? (Clarity is the first step)
Action Steps
- Decide on what the most important thing in your life is right now.
- Take just one step that will give you back some control and then follow it up with more small steps.
- Understand that it’s YOUR choice.
You can’t ignore external life situations but you’ll never be successful if you allow them to control your thoughts and emotions. Blaming them for your success or failure is like waking up in the morning and asking someone else how you should feel.
“It seems rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners” –Erma Bombeck
In today’s world many people suffer from “agenda anxiety”, a term author, consultant, motivational speaker Nido Qubein uses for “the feeling that what we want to say to others is more important than what they might want to say to us.” So instead of truly listening to the other person, we are already formulating what we want to say in our minds.
When communication is lacking, relationships suffer. If you want to improve your relationships, practice listening from the heart and then speaking.
The authors of Managing From the Heart discuss what it means to communicate from the heart. Here are the five principles of “H-E-A-R-T” communication:
H – Hear and understand me.
E – Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong.
A – Acknowledge the greatness within me.
R – Remember to look for my loving intentions.
T – Tell me the truth with compassion.
Next time you’re involved in a conversation, focus on listening without giving any thought to your response. It is only by communicating from the heart that you can make a difference.
Most of us feel we are supposed to be one personality and wonder why we often feel like life is not working out the way we want it to. One minute we feel one way and then a few minutes or hours later we feel another way. The thing is, we are not just one person but a multitude of different sub-personalities who all want their “time in the sun.”
The work personality wants to get the job done while the play personality wants to relax and enjoy life. So we bounce back and forward feeling guilty when one runs the show and won’t let the other one out. Perhaps it is time you let the “playful child” lead you by the hand.
Some people are in touch with their playful inner child but many of us have suppressed or buried that personality because somewhere along the way we discovered that it wasn’t safe. Over the years we built stronger defense systems as a means of protection till the needs of “the child” were nowhere near being fulfilled. So the challenge is getting back in touch with your playful self.
There are many ways to do this but one of my favorites is playing with a puppy. Perhaps for you it’s a kitten. Any young animal is a delight to watch. Their carefree playfulness, their antics and the unconditional love they display can bring out that inner child, make you smile and warm your heart.
Start to think about some things that are fun and that you can include in your daily life. Even if it’s just a few minutes in the morning or the evening, find out what your “child” likes to do. You will bring more balance, joy, fulfillment and harmony into your life.
(The photo is one of my niece’s new puppies. She and her husband breed Alaskan Malamutes in Australia. Isn’t he just the cutest!)
Spring is such a beautiful time of the year – it’s my favorite season. Nature provides us with an abundance of colors and fragrances. Don’t all the yellows, pinks, whites and other colors of the blossoms give your mood a boost? They do mine!
You can use these colors to change your mood just by looking around you. For example, when you’re stressed out, a color you can use is blue. When you notice you’re starting to go into overload, find something blue … perhaps the sky, a pillow, car, picture, envelope etc. Keep your eyes on the blue, allowing it to soak into your very being. Focus on it, feel the blue in every cell of your body.
If you’re with others and someone happens to comment on your weird stare, just respond with “Oh I’m fine, just daydreaming.”
Breathe in that wonderfully tranquil blue color. Let it wrap you in its protective cocoon … through you, around you, within you. Feel yourself going into a deeper state of tranquillity. Blue brings relaxation and calmness. If any part of your body feels irritated, tense or tied up in knots, breathe in and envision the blue light flowing in and out of that area.
Blue calms and cools. Feel the stress and tension slip out of your body as you continue to focus on that wonderfully relaxing blue color. Notice how you’re slowing down your breathing and allowing every muscle group in your body to become loose and relaxed.
Immerse yourself in blue for a few minutes. Notice how you’re not feeling as overwhelmed as you were before you started this exercise. Aren’t you feeling more relaxed now?
Self Development | admin | 
April 25, 2010 4:01 pm | 
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